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Columbus Ohio
Death is a natural event. Experts agree that
children, even the very young,
should not be shielded from the death of a loved one.
Children have the capacity to recognize
death as an event and the curiosity
to ask questions about the event.
For any age group, stick with truthful, simple
answers in terms that the child can understand.
Further down shows the different age groups in
how to explain about a loved one who has died.
THE GENERAL ADVICE IS:
Talk to the child simply and truthfully about
the death, in an
age-appropriate manner.
Ask questions to determine what the child
already knows about the situation.
You may then explain the situation to
them simply and honestly.
For instance, you may say,
“Grandma’s heart got too tired and
stopped working, so she died.”
*It is important to AVOID giving answers that may
CONFUSE or FRIGHTEN the child, such as
“Grandma went to sleep and is not going to wake up”
or “God took Grandma to be with the angels.”
While these phrases are meant to comfort and
soothe, the child may actually interpret
them in a far more LITERAL SENSE. For example,
the child might develop a fear of going to sleep
because the same thing might happen to them
The age and emotional development of a child
will influence the way they experience grief.
Up to 7 years of age, children see death mainly as a separation event.
Children in this age group have begun
to understand death as a permanent event.
While teenagers understand and perceive
death in closely the same way as adults,
they may express their grief differently.
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